So where do I begin when I haven’t written a blog post in about 6 months? It’s nearly midnight on a Thursday night I am home from work but just can’t settle; I feel all bubbley.
Maybe some updates are over due:
– I finished college
– I am on some meds that atchually work
– I started a phychology group about 2 weeks ago
– And I should be starting my degree in september
(I also just got a key board for tablet which I am writting this on)
So everything is going great right? Well on paper yes! But the last few weeks I have been living with the overwelming sense that it is all about to come crashing down around me. I am terrified something is going to go wrong, having sevral nightmares where I end up in serious car crashes, moments when I am certian I wont pass my ocupational health assment or just that something will happen and I will end up sectioned agian. I do understand that most of this is just unrational thinking but it doesn’t stop the thoughts from clouding my mind.
‘But’ is a word we use when something appears to be great and yet is hiding a secret. And thats my life right now, not on purpose, I don’t want to hid the bad bits its not a healthy coping startage, but I cant help feeling guilty when everything is going so well and i am entering in to a grey cloud that I thouhght I had escaped.
I am so excited for september and all that it holds, I am also not looking for pity just somewhere to express my thoughts.
Ella x
EllaNora 