It’s three in the morning again, just like who this blog started, I have just sat up and seen my reflection in a mirror, it seem so strange to me to have brown hair again; despite it being my natural colour and having it for nearly two weeks now, it had been nearly two years where it wasn’t. I guess this signifies me entering a new chapter of my life.
Lately I seem to be doing everything in my life with hype and over velless, everything that promotes to the world my so called up beat self. But on my own I have become so different, there seems like no propose on doing the things I love purely for me, there has to be some kind of gain. Recognition that what I am doing has a purpose. If what I am doing is not influencing or impacting someone positively then whats the point.
I have a life with bits I absolutely love, going on camp this summer was such an amazing time, my friends are just amazing, and I have whole new prospects for this year. I find being alone really hard right now though, I do nothing productive for myself because I feel as if I am not helping anyone. Yet I still crave being alone sometimes, I am scared being with people is only helping my ego, and could be potentially hurting them. I seem to be giving 110% effort to live in other peoples lives but not living in my own.
EllaNora 