When I write about an energy overload I am not talking about physically, I wish, my body feels overly tired at the end of the day, I haven’t been drinking caffeine or had a massive lie in. I am Talking about my head overloading it self with unneeded energy, the constant overload of thoughts floating like bubbles around in your head, peacefully right. But like a bubble machine the mind creates more and more bubbles until there is not enough room for everything and two bubbles collide. POP! Ok, steady your self brain its alright neither of those thoughts held any truth any way. However the sticky splatter from the burst intrudes on the bubbles which are important; things you had to do, hopes, goals, stuff that actually does matter and they to burst into bubble residue too.
So how does the mind comprehend this, it violently churns out more and more bubbles to try and recreate the ones its missing, but there tainted and misshaped, they don’t hold the same power as when you spent time conjuring them into perfect spheres first time round. And as you try to fix the mistakes in your head you struggle with the dilemmas developing, which one needs the most urgent attention? As you tend to that bubble you find your self doubting your decision, how was that effecting the other bubbles and the people you love surrounding them. As you try to focus on the job in hand your irritated and distracted by the buzzing motor of the bubble machine blowing out these tiny bubbles of; letting people down and judgement.
Re composing your mind takes all the power in your body, outwardly your mask starts to fade and your at your most vulnerable, forcing a smile on your face seems so important though, it’s your calling to the world of I am ‘Ok’ as they refrain from peeking any deeper into your state. In many ways your mask is your goal, the person you wish to be and are striving for, yet someone who is unrealistic with only perfect thoughts going on in their heads.
EllaNora 